Why you're bad at networking


Reader,

Have you ever messaged someone on LinkedIn who left you on read?

Reached out to a hiring manager only to get ghosted?

Maybe you went to a conference or some other networking event in the hopes of making a new friend but nobody wanted to talk to you.

So you gave up.

And now you scoff at the idea that networking could work for anybody. It's probably a scam, right? Just something the "lucky" people say "works for them".

I used to think there was some secret thing I had to say to get people's attention or to get them to want to talk to me.

Some clever line or maybe I'd need a certain level of success before someone would "waste their time" talking to me.

I saw this tweet the other day and I can't share it enough.

In fact, I've showed it to 2 mentees this week during our calls on ADPList. For one, it was a like a "mind blown" moment. For the other, it just made sense.

Every time I've made a new connection on LinkedIn, 𝕏, or in the real world (the scariest of them all), I've used one of these 2 strategies.

Not on purpose. I just saw this tweet on Monday. But that's why I love it so much.

Because I know it works.

It's a habit for me at this point that if I want to meet a founder, I know I need to find a way to help their business.

And I mostly just do it for fun. I don't need anything from these people.

For HeyTaco, I made a course where I mentioned HeyTaco. I didn't know that'd lead to anything.

For ADPList, I reported some bugs to help them improve the platform. Didn't know we'd end up on a call.

But now that I know this is a good strategy to meet high-level people, I know I can proactively meet people who might want to meet other people in my network, just by finding a simple favor I could do for them.

Even if nothing happens, it's good karma.

On the way to the gym this morning, I pitched a business partnership to a cofounder I met on a Slack community that would connect him with another founder I know.

I figured if they worked together, it would solve a problem I'm facing (1 platform lacks an integration with the other platform, and I want that integration), so maybe he and another founder could help each other.

And by them helping each other, they'd be helping me.

So what's your version of that?

No, I mean it. Really think about this.

Next time you encounter a problem with an app you're using -- a bug, a feature you really want -- make a note of it.

Keep a list. In fact, every time you hit any roadblock that could be solved by some kind of product or service that doesn't exist yet, add it to the list.

These are business ideas. These are also opportunities for you to meet people who could solve these problems.

Anyway, that's enough ranting.

What about the 1st one in that tweet? Maybe you don't want to be some "business idea" person. That's fine.

No, really. I've met most of my internet friends by doing the first one. Just approach it like you wanna make a friend.

Are you a funny person? Crack a joke to break the ice.

Or hey, why not just give them a compliment on something you find genuinely cool about their profile or a post they wrote, or something else they've shared publicly (key word: "publicly" lmao).

I've never had someone tell me to go kick rocks because I said something nice to them.

Just don't be weird about it. Think of it like a drive-thru order. You roll through to say your thing and keep on driving. If they reply, they reply.

It's not complicated.

They may not reply, but then again, maybe you've gotten DMs too where you didn't want to be friends with that person. Plenty of fish in the sea, right?

I've been bullish on networking and writing as a way to stand out in the QA community.

For months now, I've been helping people start their content journey on LinkedIn, start networking with other fun tech people in 𝕏 Spaces, and it's been fun.

But the course I'm launching will go a step further and hold you accountable to actually getting some small wins in the areas of networking and writing.

Because what you do as a QA isn't just about testing. Or automating. Or technical stuff in general.

QA is a very social job:

  • You educate stakeholders
  • You persuade team members
  • You make friends not enemies so everyone looks forward to working with you

Writing and networking train your communication skills and will make you a QA powerhouse.

They're the "soft skills" side of the job.

Most people don't train that enough. If you think that's cool, hop on the waitlist for the course I'm launching in November.

And remember, if you think of the world like one big nightclub, we're all just hanging out.

We're all potential friendships and business partnerships waiting to happen.

In the words of the latest TikTok meme, "we all fam".

Hint: if you want to keep your innocence, don't watch Broad City lmao. Otherwise, if you like dumb and lewd humor, give it a try. The last episode aired in 2019 but you can find it on Hulu. #NotSponsored

One more thing, actually. I wanna try this new polling feature in Kit, so tell me about your biggest social struggle:

Cheers,

Steven

The Better Vetter Letter

Helping tech recruiters vet client requirements and job candidates for technical roles by blending 20+ years of Engineering & Recruiting experience.

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